Call First
by kaylea dear
Summary: doesn't really have anything to do with twilight. but its fun to read. especially if you pretend its the charecters of twilight useing pen names. oneshot.


another class paper. 300 spoof mixed with a few other shows/movies. but we'll just say that we are the veghead vampire army of forks. :D

if you don't like it then pretend.

make of it what you will. reviews are nice.

**Call First**

_An Epic and thrilling story of a group of friends who undergo an amazingly pointless adventure._

Spartans of 73

* * *

Hays High School was notorious for The Flaming Apple Holes, a group of friends who wreak hilarious havoc all over Hays County. The Group consisted of Kelsey, Reno, otherwise known as Z or Ouk, Gage, Megan, Kaylea, Jordanna, Mya, Roderick and the two Sarahs. One day they decided to go to Kendrick's house unannounced. They piled onto Kelsey's bus which called itself Spartans of 73. After they were away from the school and out in the country with no witness to drive by, they hijacked the Spartan bus and directed it in the direction of Kendrick's house.

"Spartans, what is your profession??" Chadd the Spartan of 73 general called out.

"A-OO, A-OO!" the Spartans cried back.

The mayhem caused on the road was glorious. Drive-by mail boxing was a popular sport among the Spartans of 73. The road on which they traveled was littered with beaten mail boxes. Miles and miles of a back country road was the crime scene for the Flaming Apple Holes' chaotic pranks. Top hats and banana peels were tossed into the air. Jerrod, the general's younger brother, and Reno mixed the FAH's (Flaming Apple Holes) and the Spartan's themes songs to create a mezmorizing melody which flowed through the souls of the Spartans of 73's passengers. The music created such an atmosphere that the FAH's and the Spartans determined that the two groups should be permanently united. Adopting the name of the Spartans of 73, the Flaming Apple Holes became Spartans.

The now conjoined groups had created a legendary moment in history. As the brainwashed bus driver kept speed to Kendrick's house, the majority of the Spartans climbed on the top of the bus and began to cheer. While performing the secret Spartan "hand shake" created by Chadd and Gage, the bus sped pass a cop with a radar gun. The chase was on. The Spartans of 73 was well aware of the many laws they were breaking, but that only made the situation more thrilling. The bus driver took sharp, random turns to escape the cop. Many of the Spartan comrades were still atop the bus holding on to makeshift harnesses that were belts taken from the waists of gangsters - the reason why their pants are always sagging so low.

The cop was beginning to overtake the bus. Even while Roderick, Mya, and Megan tried to blind the cop, Roderick with his laser, and Megan and Mya with their magic lip gloss, did the cop still gain ground. Chadd, the oldest, as well as the leader of the Spartans of 73, saw that the cop would soon seize him and his fellow Spartans.

"What ever happens, we are all Spartans, and will always be Spartans. I want it to say on my tombstone when I die 'He died a Spartan Soldier.' I don't care if it's written really tiny off to the left in permanent marker. Just Do it." As a sacrifice for his soldiers he leaped off the top of the speeding bus at the cop car. The Spartans watched in horror as their general flew through the air. A menacing roar escaped the General's lips as he crashed through the windshield of the cruiser. The vehicle swerved off the road and into the underbrush. Though they knew it was for a noble cause, the Spartans of 73 mourned for their loss. The bus was silent, inside and on top, the Spartans dared not say a word.

One by one the Spartans began to chant in unison, building into a roar of magnificence "His name was Chad Bordon. His name was Chad Bordon. HIS NAME WAS CHAD BORDON!"

Out of no where a cop cruiser sped around the corner and into view. It wasn't the cop in the driver's seat, but Chadd, the Spartan General. He had survived the crash and was now rapidly accelerating towards the bus.

"A-oo, A-OO, **A-OO**!!" The Spartans cheered. Chadd raised is fist and roared in victory.

"Long live Chadd," Gage began "the greatest Spartan to ever live!"

As the bus slowed, Chadd sped up to the front of the bus. There he led the Spartans to Kendrick's house. Jerrod and Reno began the theme song again, but this time with greater enthusiasm. Jordanna began to retell the story that would one day be a legend, while Kelsey recorded every moment with her camera. The bond between the friends of the Spartans became so strong that everyone new they would last for all eternity. Megan, Kaylea, and Mya began to sing the song of FUN with the lyrics that the Great Shaw had printed out for them.

"F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere and any time at all down here with my best buddy" they sang in unison. The two Sarahs began to join in.

The bus came to a complete stop; the Mighty Chadd stepped on to the bus. Everyone went silent.

"SPARTANS, WHAT. IS. YOUR. PROFESSION??"

"A-OO, A-OO" Chadd raised his had for silence. The Spartans did as commanded.

"This is the moment we have been waiting for. Tonight we dine wherever is reasonably priced!" The Spartans cheered as they exited the bus and marched toward Kendrick's front door. The great, shaggy beast guarding to door began to whimper at the sight of the Spartans of 73. The general rang the door bell and then stepped inside. Smelly and as dirty as they were, the rest of the Spartans followed. Kendrick's mother greeted them.

"Sorry kids, but Kendrick isn't home."

* * *

hehe.

sorry if you didn't find that as funny as i did. i guess it helps to actually know the people.

btw: the "secret handshake" was some one being whipped with a belt while chad yells "assume the position!" theres a video up on youtube of them doing this

if anyone is actually interested in these people check out ayleakay92's page & starbungle14's page on youtube.

:D


End file.
